Today, my daughter told me she feels a closer bond with her dad.
She wasn’t being mean. Her words weren’t filled with anger or meant to hurt me. She was simply observing that right now, in this season, she feels closer to her dad.
You know what I did?
I got curious.
“What do you love about spending time with him?”
“How does that make you feel?”
“What kinds of things do you love to do together?”
You know what I didn’t do?
I didn’t shame her. And I didn’t shame myself.
Oh, I felt it—the inner critic, creeping in, whispering that I must be failing as a mum.
Gulp.
I wanted to sink into the lie that I must be a terrible mum. I felt the pull. I acknowledge it, then stopped.
We don’t silence the inner critic with self-condemnation.
Once upon a time, a conversation like this would have sent me spiralling into self hatred and been met with hostility. It might not have come out that way, it might have looked more like shutting down, pulling away or reacting defensively.
But now? Now, I see these moments as invitations—to love myself deeper, to meet my own wounds with kindness, and to show up for my daughter in a way that fosters connection, not disconnection.
I can’t heal by reaching for darkness.
Nor can you.
Leaning into Love Instead of Fear
I’m learning that the more I invite love in—to sit with compassion and lean into the sadness and anger without fear that it will consume me—the more I can respond in a kind and loving way, one that encourages connection.
This journey of healing and self-discovery is deeply affecting the way I parent and my ability to be present with my family. It’s teaching me to slow down, notice the small moments, and break free from reacting out of pain instead of responding in love.
The conversation with my daughter was one of hope, an invitation into her world.
Don’t get me wrong, it stung, but after taking some time I could see her words for what they really were – a gift.
The real win here wasn’t whether she favoured me or her dad. It was that she felt safe enough to tell me.
And that? That’s connection!
After we talked about what she loves doing with her dad, I asked,
“What do you love doing with me?”
She smiled.
“I just like being with you.”
Tomorrow, we’re taking a beach walk, maybe grabbing a smoothie afterward. Nothing fancy. Nothing big.
But I bet, profoundly impactful in the simplest of ways.
Need Ideas for Intentional One-on-One Time with Your Child?
If you’re anything like me, setting aside intentional time with your kids can sometimes feel like a challenge. But I’ve got you!
I’ve created 35 Mummy-Daughter Date Ideas just for you—and they’re completely FREE to download and print!
Simply cut them out, pop them in a jar, and once a month, let your daughter pick one at random. Then, set aside time to enjoy that moment together.
These don’t have to be grand—just simple, meaningful ways to connect. My hope is that this list sparks new ideas and gives you something to look forward to with your child.
The Whole of Us 
Leave a comment