If we don’t intentionally choose to slow down and make space we are going to loose an integral part our humanity – the profound act of passing down stories, experiences, and knowledge from generation to generation.
| For Grandma – the first person I would call when I won a spelling bee or running race. Thank-you for the early morning biscuits in bed. Your strength, endurance, kindness, and compassion are woven into the fabric of our family. Your very presence has brought me so much joy and love. I am so grateful to you. – Kelsey |
Sitting in my grandparents living room, in the only home I have ever known as theirs, my 94 year old Grandmother tells me a story from when she learnt to drive. She was of a generation where seat belts were optional and modern technology was almost non-existent.
As we sit chatting, a text message alert bings from her Apple Watch. Can you imagine trying to describe such a device even 20 years ago? I am awed by her willingness to embrace change, to surrender to a new way of life. Surely her generation has seen some of the greatest advancements in technology, transportation and medical discoveries.
I listen intently as she describes her childhood, how she met and married my Grandad, and what it was like having children. It all seems rather simple, slower perhaps, and yet certainly not easy.
We’ve just come home from a two-week road trip exploring Central Queensland. Before leaving, I was chatting with Grandma about where we were staying. ‘Oh’ she says ‘I grew up out that way’. Well, on further inspection, and you’ll never believe it, the Tiny House we were to stay at, happened to be the exact same area that my Great-Grandfather once owned and farmed!
How glad I am she told me. The significance of walking on land that your ancestors once did feels sacred. Special. Profound. Today that area is still a cattle farm so it wasn’t hard for me to imagine my great-grandad working the land.
It got me thinking. The beauty of history and sharing one’s life story. Embodied memory that I have inherited simply by being born. The lives before me carrying story after story of triumph and tragedy. I’m beginning to think that story telling is not just a ‘nice thing’, but an essential part of life, necessary to be explored, discovered, woven into our families.
I’ve noticed my own girls prefer tails of their parents’ childhood over storybooks. They want to know where we lived, went to school, and what we did for fun. They want to know what we were like as children, what we were like when their age.
The truth about generational story telling
As I began looking into the great desire of sharing one’s story, I was blown away by the growing body of evidence indicating that story telling from generation to generation, is actually crucial to one’s wellbeing.
The research is clear. Story telling has a profound impact on a child’s development. It provides a cultural framework, bonding of relationships, and a beautiful influence on a persons sense of identity. A deep knowing that we belong to something much bigger than ourselves.
In fact, young adults who know more about their family history tend to have less anxiety, higher self-esteem and less behavioural problems.
It doesn’t just have to be re-telling all the good times either, hardships are just as important. They bring congruency, build resilience and make sense of the people that we are and those we love. Stories of adversity and survival inspire, teach and encourage us.
So how do we go about organic story-telling?
Ask questions. Get curious. Make space and slow down. We have found nothing beats sitting around a dinner table asking questions and listening to each other.
Here are a couple of questions to ask your kids and get you started:
- Do you know how mum and dad met?
- Where were they born?
- What traditions or celebrations do we have that have been passed down?
- Do you know where your grandparents/great-grandparents lived?
- What did they do for work?
- Have you heard of any big challenges or changes in our family’s history?
- Do you know where our family name originated? Is there a story behind it?
- What’s the oldest family story you know? How far back does it go?
- Is there a skill or talent that runs in our family? Who was known for it?
Has this changed how you think about sharing with your kids?
I’d love to know how you create space for story-telling within your family.
The Whole of Us 
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